What My 4 Years In Disaster Preparedness For The U.S Air Force Taught Me

Written By Michal Metcalfe

 PART 1

BRIGHT STAR

“Always Ready”

Not many of my patients know this but from August 2000 – December 2004 I served in the U.S. Air Force as a ‘Disaster Preparedness Representative’, a 3E9X1 (this is the Air Force Specialty Code for an Emergency Management Specialist).

During those 4 years my duties were to:

Plan, train, educate, and equip base personnel and leaders on ways to prepare for, prevent, respond to, maintain mission capability and recover from threat events including major accidents, natural disasters, weapons of mass destruction and any wartime chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear and high-yield explosive attacks.  Perform detection, monitoring, sampling, warning and reporting of chemical, biological, radiological, and nuclear events.  Provide expert advice for commanders to help them make risk-based decisions during all phases of emergency response operations. ^[1]

In September 2001, a year into my enlistment, I was sent on a tour of duty to Cairo, Egypt for a NATO exercise called “Bright Star”.  At the time, I was stationed at Mountain Home Air Force Base in Idaho, the last place on earth I imagined I’d be when I filled out my “dream sheet” for my first duty station.  When I received the ‘orders’ (papers describing an assignment) from Master Sergeant Calhoun, I was so excited that I broke protocol and jumped up in the air and gave him a big hug!  I had hit the tour jackpot…a paid vacation to Egypt!  I was ecstatic about this particular trip because having grown up hearing about all things ‘mystical’, I could already envision the great adventures that awaited me in the land of the Pharaohs.

My first stop was Utah where I would join the Civil Engineering squadron from Hill Air Force Base.  I was backfilling for 2 Sergeants from Hill who, for some reason or another, were unable to go.  The adventure began immediately when I discovered that I was the only 3E9X1 personnel allocated for this 3 month tour.  Somehow the powers that be decided that 1 Airman would be sufficient to handle the responsibility of emergency management for the largest NATO exercise in the world.  The commanding officer, a tall blonde Lieutenant, did not hide her irritation when she learned that I, a first year Airman, would be filling the position.  However, she was not completely convinced of my incompetency until she discovered that I, along with 4 civil engineers from the “Power Pro” unit who were also sent from Mountain Home, did not bring our protective chemical suits (aka MOP gear).  I remember her asking me, “How could it be that as a Disaster Preparedness Rep, I did not think to bring my personal protective equipment?”  I was so embarrassed and didn’t have an answer to her question. Thankfully, the Lieutenant was a very industrious woman and acted quickly.  She decided to stop at the Readiness supply warehouse where we were expeditiously issued all of the necessary gear, and soon we were in a plane and on our way.

The Land of the Pharaohs

After an exhausting trip, I felt like Alice In Wonderland when I woke up and stretched my body out onto the king sized bed in my garden suite.  I can still smell the scent of warm marble that permeated the room.  Our first couple of days were designated as “rest and recovery” and we were able to go out and explore if we wished.  That day I decided to rest my body and enjoy all that the 5 star resort had to offer.  Out in the courtyard there were sparkling pools, a life sized chess board to play chess, and as if in a dream…you could see the tops of the Great Pyramids of Giza between the palm trees!  But if I am being completely honest, what impressed me the most was the glutinous spread of Egyptian cuisine…some of the most delicious food that I had ever tasted, included in our stay at the hotel. In a word, we were pampered!

The next day I signed up for a tour with the guys from my CE squadron, and a few others from Hill AFB.  One of the most senior enlisted among us was a guy by the name of Technical Sergeant Slade Heeb.  Yes…his name was actually Slade Heeb and it fit him perfectly!  He towered over everyone at 6’3″ tall and was a husky, strong country man who could do any job, work every piece of equipment, and fix anything that broke.  He was Paul Bunyan if ever a man existed.  We were both amused by the contrast between us and by the end of the day we evolved from comrades to buddies. We rode on camels, navigated the inner passages of the Great Pyramids, and visited the Sphinx.  There is too much to say about it all here except that it was a magical day spent in the company of good people.

Civil Engineers – ‘First In, Last Out’

In the early morning, when the sky was still navy blue, a bus arrived to transport us from the hotel to a barren strip of desert where we would start building up “tent city” for Cairo West Air Base in preparation for Bright Star.  Tent city, like any other city, needed to provide not only lodging, but also food, water and power, heating and cooling, a medical and dental facility, a communications facility, security police, fire department, public relations, a place of worship, a gym/recreation centre, even a store to purchase supplies.  Essentials for daily life along with all the resources to support the mission were constructed for this exercise which would sustain 23,000 U.S. military personnel from the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines, as well as thousands more from France, Germany, Greece, Italy, Jordan, Kuwait, Spain, United Kingdom, and Egyptian forces.

The first few days were a huge learning curve for me because prior to this point, I had never even put up a tent.  The CE guys patiently helped me through my ‘trial by fire’ apprenticeship, and seemed happy to show me the ropes.  I suspected that their eagerness might have been encouraged by the fact that, aside from the Lieutenant, I was the only woman among them.  Each day I got better and more skillful, and soon I was putting up tents faster than the same guys who taught me how to do it.

September 11th

In just under a week, Cairo West AB was really taking shape.  Most of the essential infrastructure was already in place, and some units were beginning to operate out of their facilities.  For the first few days, our crew of 20 Civil Engineers, along with a skeleton crew from a few other squadrons (Services, Communications, and INTEL) were bussed to and from the hotel, but by day 3 we traded our comfortable digs for cots inside of tents.

I had already begun studying my Air Force Instructions (AFI) to learn what was expected from me in preparation for my role as Disaster Preparedness Representative once the exercise began.  I also met with the personnel from the Emergency Operations Center (EOC) who briefed me on their functions and capabilities.  This meeting was crucial in both establishing my connection with INTEL (the intelligence agency responsible for analyzing threat), and identifying a point of contact to activate the Disaster Control Group (DCG).  There were about 5 of them from what I can remember, and they all seemed to share an air of sharpness that was both intimidating and reassuring.  Their small unit was located up on a hill a fair distance away from the main hub of tent city and to get there was a bit of a hike.  One of them, a female Sergeant, would be sharing a tent with me.

September in Egypt was hot.  We looked like wet kidney beans baking as we worked under the desert sun.  The dust mixed with our sweat and produced a grit that felt like sandpaper against the skin, but after just a few days, I got used to the discomfort.  I remember one late afternoon, the work was winding down for the day and I stopped for a minute to take a break from the heat.  Off in the distance I could see a jeep coming down the hill from the Emergency Operations Center.  The jeep appeared to be coming towards me at a reckless speed and as it approached I could hear the Sergeant’s voice yelling,  “Airman Kelly!  Airman Kelly!”  I ran up to the jeep and was met with a look that I had never seen before.  “Airman Kelly, the United States of America is under attack!  Secure your men and get to the EOC for a briefing!”  After hearing those words a cold chill shot up my spine to the top of my head.  The Sergeant stayed only long enough for my eyes to confirm that I was able to comprehend what I had just been told, and then he tore out of there…literally leaving me in the dust.

I can recall my heartbeat pounding so much that I could feel it in my throat as I ran to the area where the majority of my unit was working and reported what I had just been told.  There was another young Lieutenant, not the tall blonde woman, but a short blonde man, who I reported to among the group.  His eyes grew wide with anticipation and he anxiously looked at me and asked, “What should we do next?”  His question acted on me like a gunshot and snapped me into decisive action.  I directed my unit to hunker down in the tents until they received further instructions either from myself or someone from the Disaster Control Group.  As they moved into the tents, I sprinted the entire way up the hill to the EOC to find out what was happening.

Out of breath, I arrived at the entrance of the tent which was guarded by an airman.  It was confirmed by someone inside that I should be there, and I was let into the tent where everyone was staring at a screen.  Before the days of i-phones, the information about the attacks came through on the computer screen in simple text.  Usually, classified information is given in a report which is handed to you to read in the presence of an INTEL agent to which you must after reading, hand the report back to the agent.  This time, the information was so new that a report had not been generated and all that we had were the words on this screen.  Soon after I arrived, the Sergeant who first alerted me to the attack returned to the EOC and briefed me on the Intel gathered up to this point.

“What We Know…”

“What we know is that the U.S. has sustained a multi-level terrorist attack involving commercial airline jets that were hijacked and used as weapons of mass destruction to crash into multiple targets on American soil.”   I listened as he described the details of the attacks involving the World Trade Center’s Twin Towers in New York and the Pentagon in D.C..  At that time casualties were unknown but early estimates placed the death toll at upwards of 10,000 people.  The correlation between Bright Star and the attack was being investigated, because at least one of the terrorists was from Egypt. The last words I remember him saying were, “We are moving from exercise to contingency operations and will expedite the construction of tent city as a possible forward deployed location.”

I staggered slowly back down the hill, numb with confusion.  I would have to inform my unit that we would be working through the night to accelerate the build out of tent city.   When I made it to our work area I could see that they had already been informed and were busy setting up the lights to prepare for the night ahead of us.  Sergeant Heeb pulled up in a front loader tractor and stopped in front of me. “Whatcha hear Airman Kelly?”  I told him what I knew, and he nodded at me with his mouth drawn open, completely dumbfounded.  He drove off, and I went to find the Lieutenant in charge of CE.

Incoming

For several hours more we continued to put up tents to get ready for the influx of 800 army soldiers that would be joining us at dawn.  They weren’t scheduled to come for another few days but after the attacks, fights broke out between some soldiers and Egyptians, and tensions were escalating minute by minute.  It was very late and there was still work to be done, but we stopped to get some rest because we had a long day ahead of us that would begin again in a few hours.

Just before dawn I woke up to get ready for the army’s arrival on base.  I want to mention one interesting side note here; life on base was 24/7 and we all worked in shifts.  Although most operations took place from sunrise to sundown, manpower was staggered to ensure that a certain alertness was always maintained.  From what I remember, no one in my tent had an alarm, and yet we were each able to wake ourselves up at the exact time that we needed to get up.

The morning meeting was somber, and the air was thick with uncertainty.  Usually our hands were kept busy shooing the numerous flies away, but on that day they rested on our faces without disturbance because we were all too disoriented to pay them any mind.  After the meeting we grabbed breakfast in the newly erected dining facility.  The food was a far cry from the Egyptian cuisine I devoured just days before.  It was the most highly processed, soy saturated, calorie dense, awful tasting food available to mankind, and I am sure some time has been subtracted from my life due to its consumption.

In the military, when a disaster happens, decisions rain down faster than our emotions can keep up.  We are trained to respond, and that’s exactly what we did.  Once the 800 Army soldiers arrived, together we hit the ground running on a mission to finish building the camp.  However, we soon encountered a snag in our plan.  Hill AFB brought over the majority of the supplies for the exercise, including the tents that were meant to house up to 3000 personnel.  Apparently the equipment used in the various branches of the military are not universal so the incoming troops did not know how to put up our tents.  Sergeant Heeb, who was overseeing all construction projects, pulled me and a handful of others off of our work sites and gathered us around. “You guys are our best builders and we need you to show the Army how to put up these tents.”  The pride I felt in that moment fueled my confidence and off I went to go train the Army on a task that I had assumed was second nature to them.  And that’s how we spent the next 18 hours, erecting tent by tent, laying pipe by pipe, hauling equipment back and forth…until we were finished.

Change Of Command

The next to join us were the coalition forces from Europe and the Middle East. As I mentioned, Bright Star is the world’s largest NATO exercise. It was created to provide a training ground for allied forces to practice working together in a wartime scenario. This exercise gives the various participating countries an opportunity to outline resources, work through inter-operational strategies, and most importantly, form relationships with one another. It was very important for the U.S. to continue with the exercise, albeit on a different scale. There would have been too many negative implications if we pulled out, and besides, the location presented an opportunity to use the base to stage forward deployed operations under the guise of the exercise.

As the mission changed from exercise to real world, so did the personnel. Initially, the acting base commander was a Lieutenant Colonel from Hill, but he was soon replaced by a Logistics full bird Colonel in charge of flight operations. After the lodging and essential facilities were constructed, our efforts were then directed towards our designated areas of specialty. The Services unit prepared food, the Transportation unit maintained the vehicles, INTEL monitored and reported the threats, the Medics provided necessary medical treatments, the Civil Engineers continued to develop and maintain the infrastructure, and I began to plan for nuclear, biological, and chemical attacks, and natural disasters.

Being completely wet behind the ears had its pluses and minuses.  I was just 20 years old and up until then, I had barely felt responsible for myself, let alone anyone else.  I assumed that there must be someone older and more experienced than me, looking after us to make sure that we were ready for whatever might be lurking.  This faith was my psychological shield and it allowed me the space that I needed to figure things out for myself.

I am indebted to numerous people in my life, and Sergeant Heeb is one of them.  He and I shared office space out of a trailer at first, and then we moved into the CE tent. He was the superintendent in charge of directing work orders to the engineers. I spent hours upon hours reading through my Air Force Instructions (AFI), unsure how to begin to do my job.  I would frequently bring the AFIs over to Sergeant Heeb and we would interpret them together.  Usually, there exists a contingency guide called the Base Operations Plan, which gives an outline of the functions and capabilities of each of the emergency responders.  If such a guide did exist for Bright Star Cairo West, I did not have it, and so I needed to create it.

Sitting Ducks

I met with INTEL for a ‘situation update’ where I was informed of the threats that we were facing.  Several possible covert attack scenarios were discussed but the predominant threat was considered to be rocket propelled grenades filled with biological agents being launched at the base.  Being young, and as I said, shielded by my naive faith that someone else must surely be overseeing the ‘big picture’, it came as an utter shock to learn that I was the one responsible for ensuring that the base was ready for any possible attack.  Every unit had a function, and my function was base readiness and all that went along with it.

After the meeting I again found myself staggering down the hill from the EOC in a state of confusion.  I knew that I needed to establish a point of contact for every unit on base and find out about their capabilities.  But an uneasy feeling was growing inside of me and by the time I made it back to the trailer where Sergeant Heeb and I worked, the feeling escalated into panic.  “Sergeant Heeb!”  I exclaimed as I burst into the trailer.  “Is it possible that we were not the only ones who didn’t bring our MOP gear?!”  He looked up from his computer, took a moment to think and then said, “Well yeah.  If we didn’t have it on our orders, then it’s likely no one else did either.”

My mind began to put the pieces together…we had roughly 5200 military personnel on base, limited security forces, no fence surrounding the perimeter, a real world attack recently made against the U.S. involving at least one terrorist from Egypt, no Base Operations Plan and thus no continuity among the coalition forces, no detection equipment to monitor the presence of chemical or biological agents, we faced a threat of attack by rocket propelled grenades filled with anthrax or some other bio-agent, and the majority of the base did not have their protective masks and suits.  We were completely vulnerable, and I finally realized it.

Ask And You Shall Receive

It turned out that indeed, many of the U.S. personnel did not have their protective equipment.  I was in over my head and it was time to ask for reinforcement, and that meant that I would need to meet with the Colonel.  I was a stranger to the new base commander who was a bit removed from the day to day functions.  Flight operations and forward mobility was the focus of her attention…not infrastructure.  I remember her as being a tall woman, probably in her late 50s, with monochromatic reddish brown hair, and a face full of makeup.  She reminded me of my junior high principal who always seemed to be preoccupied with her appearance.  I even think she had freshly manicured acrylic nails…. but I can’t be sure.

I discussed with her the current threats and shortfalls that we faced.  MOP suits to protect the base population were a top priority, but I also needed manpower and detection equipment.  I brought with me the AFIs to give credibility to my request, because as a low ranking airman, I feared that I would not be taken seriously.  After all, I wasn’t even sure if I was allowed to make such a request.  To my amazement and relief, this Colonel, whose name escapes me, not only took me seriously, but within days the MOP gear arrived at Cairo West including personnel from a Supply unit to oversee distribution.  Along with the equipment, also came Sergeant Robinson, another 3E9X1 Disaster Preparedness Rep to help share the workload.  I could not believe how quickly I received what I asked for and it’s only now that I can see how essential it was that the base commander was in charge of Logistics.  She held the key to all the supplies that we needed.

Sergeant Robinson was a stout man from the Dominican Republic who spoke so fast that it was hard to understand him at times.  As soon as he arrived, he jumped right in, and together we began working with the emergency responders in the Disaster Control Group to prepare the base as best we could for any possible attack.  Our days began at 6:30 a.m. with a CE meeting and continued late into the night with us typing away at our computers developing the Base Operations Plan.  Once the MOP gear was issued, much of the daytime was spent training the base on the proper donning of their chemical suits and masks.  We set up a classroom in one of the tents and trained a thousand + personnel over the course of a few weeks.  The Colonel, and other high ranking officials, received one-on-one training from us.  I remember, during my class with the Colonel, that she refused to tighten her mask fully because it would, “Create a crease in her makeup.”   With the brazen specially gifted to all 20 somethings, I replied by reminding her that we were in THREATCON BRAVO (medium threat condition), and according to AFI such and such, “No makeup should be worn in medium or higher threat conditions because it interferes with the proper seal of the gas mask.”  Her response was priceless.  The Colonel took off her mask, brushed her hair away from her eyes to get a good look at the fool standing before her, and said with a tone of complete authority, “Well, that’s not going to happen.  Trust me, these men don’t want to see us without our makeup on…it would negatively impact base morale.”

A Moment Of Silence

All of the hard physical labour, long hours, and intense stress, had finally caught up with me.  It had been several days since the attack and none of us were able to call home and check on our family and friends.  At that time cell phones were rare.  Some higher ranking officers had them, but they were for official use only.  Landline connections were still being established throughout the base but with limited local calling capability.  If some clever airmen did venture to make a long distance phone call on the U.S. government’s dime, such an expenditure would be considered “fraud, waste, and abuse” and subject to punitive action.  I remember one morning during our CE meeting, some of the guys began complaining about the fact that we had zero contact with the outside world.  We didn’t have a t.v., and youtube and facebook did not yet exist.  The Sergeant in charge of HVAC (heating and cooling systems) responded to our frustrations by saying, “Listen guys, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do right now.  We just don’t have cell phones out here.”  Inside, my heart started to pound as the expanse of the emotions I had felt all week began to rise and converge inside of me, and words came spilling out.  “There IS something we can do.  We are out here helping to defend our country that has just been attacked.  If the cell phone companies don’t see fit to donate their service to the very people who are protecting their enterprise, then they are not patriots.  We CAN do something!  We can threaten the cell phone companies with their patriotism!  I fell silent after that, staring off with an intense hope that somehow my words would reach the right audience.

A memorial service was planned for the morning of September 19th.  We all gathered together in what could be considered a courtyard but was really just an area between the dining facility and lodging tents.  I found a space set apart from where everyone was gathered.  The Chaplain talked about the devastation and the lives lost, and then he said a prayer.  Afterwards, ‘Taps’ was played over the speaker system, followed by a moment of silence.  The stillness and quiet of the desert resonated with the stillness inside of us.  I remember a feeling of deep deep sadness coming over me, and I finally began to cry.  The tears just rolled down, I could not contain them anymore.  I was grieving more than just the lives of those who died in the attack.  I knew that the world would be different moving forward, and I felt so sad for what I could sense was a dissolving of my old reality and the arising of something strange and uncertain.

I remember at some point later in the day, close to evening, I was outside of the classroom tent where I conducted training.  The Chaplain approached me and I saluted him as he got closer.  “How are you Airman Kelly?” he asked.  I’m not sure how I replied, but he said, “I have something for you.”  Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone!  He asked me who I would like to call and I gave him my parent’s number.  He pushed about 20 numbers on the flip phone’s keypad and then handed me the phone.  I anxiously waited to hear the sound of my mom or dad’s voice. Finally, my mom answered the phone, and I remember the relief and excitement that I felt just hearing her say “hello”.  The connection was sketchy but I was able to get the gist of how my family was doing.  My mom described the panic that overcame everyone.  The fear of future attacks that might target Chicago.  The lockdown of the airports.  The survivalist mentality prompting people to stock up on grocery supplies and gas.  It sounded like a modern day Armageddon. She wanted to know if I was safe and when I would be coming home to the U.S..  My response was vague, but the fact that somehow I was able to make a phone call, sparked a glint of optimism and a sense that something Higher actually was taking care of me.

A Day Of Leave

Over the next couple of weeks the workload began to lighten.  The infrastructure was complete so the Civil Engineers were now primarily working maintenance jobs. Sergeant Robinson and I settled into a routine of morning meetings, followed by base perimeter checks, afternoon training, and office work up until dinner.  Suddenly, our rhythm was disrupted by the arrival of a small 3E9X1 unit sent to augment us.  They must have been on backorder because they arrived weeks behind Sergeant Robinson and at a time that seemed like more of a hindrance than a help.  Admittedly, I had a resistance to the newcomers.  Up till then, I was at the forefront of all Emergency Management functions and I enjoyed the feeling of leadership that came with my role. Now I would take a back seat to the more senior ranking airmen and a Second Lieutenant who had even less experience than me.

I remember the Lieutenant as a real “stick in the mud”. The air of intensity was just beginning to lighten, and his nervousness brought more tension into the atmosphere.  I found it difficult to be around him and so I created work for myself elsewhere.  We had been stuck on base for a month and I was desperate to get out and have another adventure.  I convinced Sergeant Robinson that an off-base reconnaissance assignment was necessary to further assess the local threat.  He doubted that it would get approved, especially because so many restrictions were now in place, but he gave me the green light saying, “You can always ask, Airman Kelly.”  I submitted a request for 12 hours of temporary leave with the purpose and intent of ‘conducting local reconnaissance to further assess vulnerabilities in order to maintain informed vigilance against the threat.’  To my amazement and sheer joy, permission was granted by both the Group and Base Commanders.  Unfortunately, the Lieutenant was squeamish about off-base ventures.  It took some doing, but Sergeant Robinson, employing his good nature, was able to persuade him that the benefits outweighed the risks.  The Lieutenant granted his approval with one caveat, ‘our entire unit would come along for this assignment.’

A few days later, we gathered together and piled into a transport van with a TCN (third country national) contractor who was both our driver and escort.  By now, it was well understood that we would be doing zero reconnaissance and that this was purely an excursion of leisure.  If I had got my wish, we would have spent the day drifting down the Nile on a boat travelling towards Luxor.  However, I knew to curb my expectations and asked if we could go to see the Pyramids and the Sphinx because no one in the unit had seen them before besides me. We arrived at the entrance to Pyramids and as our driver pulled up, a vendor approached the van and began speaking to him in Arabic.  Relaying the conversation, the driver said, “We get out here and walk up…or, we can ride camels.”  I’m not sure what in that simple exchange triggered him, but suddenly the Lieutenant became anxious and expressed his fear that we might get caught by an undercover INTEL agent.  I tried to assure him that the Pyramids were a justifiable reconnaissance site, but his mind was already made up.  And so we drove away, having never stepped foot out of the van.  As upsetting as that was, I refused to allow disappointment to spoil my day away from the base.

The driver was an excellent escort and he took us all around the city of Cairo…mind you, we were unable to get out of the van for most of it.  Thankfully though, at some point we had to eat, and that was an undeniable fact.  The Lieutenant remained apprehensive about crowded places, and so the driver brought us to a very secluded family outdoor family restaurant.  Now that I come to think of it, it was probably his neighbour’s backyard with a stone oven and a few picnic tables.  To me though, it was paradise!  It’s funny how good a little freedom feels after being deprived of it for any length of time.  I remember the hot bread coming out of the oven, and I savoured once again those delicious flavours of Egyptian cuisine.  We all relaxed so deeply, even the Lieutenant.  It seemed to me that we must have been drinking, but I honestly don’t remember whether we did or not.  This was the best part of the day.  At the end of our meal, as we all piled back into the van, the driver bashfully handed a beautiful scarf to me and then insisted on wrapping my head with it.  He called me Cleopatra and gave me a hug.  Although clearly flirtatious, his gesture felt more like affection than attraction and I appreciated it.

Blowing Off Steam

Gearing up for wartime operations and all the stress that came with it, took its toll on all of us.  After the crack of the whip let up, we found ways to blow off steam.  One of the CE guys from Hill Air Force Base snuck an old Vietnam era bladder into the cargo package that arrived with us.  It could hold 1000 gallons of water and he hooked it up to a boiler and created a hot tub. One day Sergeant Heeb asked me to come with him to check on something suspicious out at the utility tent.  “What is this?”  I asked, when he pointed to a large black rubber tub with a ladder in it.  “It’s a super chlorination tank,” he proudly stated.  “It’s important that nobody comes near this tank because the steamy vapours of chlorine gas could cause asphyxiation.”  Many questions came to mind like, “Why did you bring me so close to this apparent hazard?”, and “What steps do I need to take to keep the base safe from the fumes?”, and “Why is he telling me this and not my supervisor?”  He interrupted my thoughts, and with chuckles in his voice he said, “But between you and me, it’s really just a hot tub.”  A hot tub schedule was thus created, allocating hours to various cohorts among us.  All those who were allowed to enjoy the amenities were sworn to secrecy.  Activities were limited, and news of a hot tub would have jeopardized its’ existence.  We all knew a good thing when we had it, and so we kept our mouths shut.

Friendships that are forged during deployments become very close, very fast.  The usual protective barriers that we spend our lives constructing are demolished under the pressure that we face together.  You see the rawness in each person, and that is a rare gift.  We didn’t do anything especially extraordinary together.  Most of our free time was spent playing Spades, a game that I became addicted to in Egypt.  I was very competitive at that game and would sometimes stay up playing late into the night trying to win a hand.  The INTEL Sergeant who I shared a tent with, confessed that she was a savage at Euchre.  She and I debated which game was more challenging and at the end of our argument she invited me up to the EOC to play a round with her unit.  I accepted her offer and went up the hill after work one night.  However, once I was inside the tent, I found myself caught in an interrogation.  The Sergeant pointed to one of the computer screens that displayed a red and orange blob which stood out from the rest of the picture.  “Our thermal sensors show an unusual hot spot on the base.” My heart was racing…I knew in that instant what I was looking at, and I also knew that I was not going to be the one to snitch.  “Yes, that’s the “super chlorination tank” which stores the chlorine needed for the water.”  I said, almost too quickly.  “We know it’s a hot tub.” the Sergeant replied with a smirk.  “We’ve known about it from day one.  We’re INTEL, you should be worried if we didn’t know about it.”  I admired the INTEL Sergeant.  She had a maturity that seemed necessary for her job and it suited her well.  I was happy that my life did not require as high a level of maturity from me.

In the Services unit there was an Airman named Ann who created a cardio fitness class which she held outdoors each night.  We would lie our towels down, start with stretches, and end with our hearts pounding and feeling great.  I have never been a fan of hardcore cardio workouts, however under those circumstances, I found great enjoyment in Ann’s classes.  The Services unit is also responsible for maintaining a recreation center for watching movies, playing ping pong, and lounging around with your friends…basically a place to blow off steam.  Our recreation center did not have such luxuries.  I’m not sure if the lack of these amenities was intentional or not, but for a while all we had was a tent with chairs and a t.v. that didn’t work.  Eventually the Base Commander was able to purchase a satellite for our t.v. from the president of Egypt for a whopping $25,000!  A crazy expense one might argue, but the Armed Forces takes R & R very seriously because as psycho-emotional health declines, suicide rates go up.  After the satellite was installed, I never went back inside of that tent…I didn’t want to see the devastation of the attack on t.v..  I had already grieved once, and I had no desire to go through it all over again.

One particular Saturday, a base-wide day of competitive games and BBQ was planned to help boost everyone’s morale.  Units were pitted against each other in a battle of strength and I remember the Civil Engineers coming out on top most of the time.  I was the token female among the engineers, and it was fun sharing in the glory of victory that I hardly earned.  Later on, towards early evening, my belly led me to an area behind the dining facility where some of the guys were grilling our dinner.  The smell of BBQ meat was irresistible and I was just as much a wolf as any of them.  My friend Jesse snuck a burger to me and I devoured it within seconds.  They all seemed so content standing around their make-shift backyard, drinking O’Douls, pretending to get a buzz.  We ended the night doing cannonballs off the ladder and into the hot tub. Ah…the simple pleasures.

‘Campaign Against Terror’

On October 7th, 2001 the U.S. launched ‘Operation Enduring Freedom’ with air strikes targeting the Taliban and al Qaeda in Afghanistan.  Osama Bin Ladin was now enemy number one to the U.S. military, and his name frequently found its way into the topic of conversation as our thinking began to shift from the tragedy of the Twin Towers, to retaliation.  Information regarding our squadron back at Mountain Home AFB was funnelled down to us, and we heard that much of our base had already left for deployment in support of the operation.  If it weren’t for the fact that I was already in Egypt, I would have received orders to go on that deployment. It had its challenges, but I was grateful to be on Cairo West AB, where the tactical operations happened under our noses.

On October 10, 2001, 3 days after our ‘campaign against terror’ began, the first U.S. casualty was announced. His name was Master Sergeant Evander Andrews and he was a 36 year old Civil Engineer from my squadron back at Mountain Home AFB. He died from injuries sustained from a forklift accident during site construction. I knew Sergeant Andrews through my duty as ‘Mobile Command Post Officer’.  This simply meant that I had to maintain the ‘Mobile Command Post’, which was a pick up truck that had a large cab attached to it.  Sergeant Andrews was the ‘Transportation Officer’, and his duty was to review my record sheets each month to ensure that I was performing all of the vehicle’s required operational checks.  I remember him as a calm man who patiently taught me the ins and outs of my vehicle and helped me to feel able to be responsible for it.  He was well liked among the squadron and hearing about his bizarre death left me feeling completely lost.

I brought 3 books with me to Egypt. One was a travel guide by National Geographic which I finished on the plane on the way over.  The other 2 were, ‘What The Buddha Taught’ by Walhola Rapula Thera, and ‘In Search Of The Miraculous’ by P.D. Ouspensky.  I am so thankful to the authors of these books which were lighthouses helping to guide me through the dark waters of my feelings.  I especially resonated with Ouspensky, who was also on a seeker’s path during very uncertain times.  One night I had a dream that I was driving in a car and as I entered a tunnel, the traffic started to slow down.  Continuing on, I moved slower and slower until I was in the middle of the tunnel, and then the traffic came to a complete stop.  I waited in my car and could see the drivers around me becoming increasingly impatient and worried. I began to feel their growing distress until soon, I also became distressed.  Just then, I looked out of my windshield and I saw Ouspensky and his teacher, Gurdjieff, get out of the car in front of me.  I watched them in my dream as they inspected their vehicle.  Ouspensky looked under the car, and Gurdjieff tapped the tires with his cane, and after they looked at each other as if to say, “Nothing is wrong with this car.”  Then they both got back inside and slowly the traffic began to move again.  I woke up the next morning feeling relieved of a burden I could not name and re-connected to something Higher.

Star Light Star Bright

One of the most beautiful and awe inspiring sights that I have ever seen, still remains the sun setting on the desert horizon in Egypt.  Many times after I finished my work, I would race home to grab my camcorder in order to capture its beauty.  All of my efforts were in vain because none of my recordings did justice to the real life impression.

The season was changing, with cloudier days and even some heavy rain at times.  By late October the temperatures were not as high and the nights felt cool.  I remember that I had to wear a sweatshirt after dusk when I met up with my friends.  We used to hang out in the air conditioned tents to keep cool, and now we liked sitting outside on top of the HVAC units and looking up at the stars.  We spent one night taking turns reminiscing about our families and listing all the things that we were going to do once we got back to our hometowns.  My list included playing mindless video games with my friend Liz (even though I was never all that interested in video games), eating Chicago style hot dogs from Aristons, having a chocolate cake shake and a chop salad from Portillos, and gorging myself on fried BBQ chicken from Ex-Senators.  I missed home so bad I could literally taste it!  I looked up at the sky and found the brightest star (it was probably Sirius), and wished to be able to see my family and friends again so strongly that tears came to my eyes.

Not more than a couple of days later, Sergeant Heeb came up to me flaunting the kind of smile that always precedes good news.  He teasingly asked, “Are you ready to go home Kelly?”  Apparently as the mission evolved, it was decided that tent city was no longer essential and everyone would be sent back to the U.S. within a few weeks.  We were backfilling for Hill AFB, and because they were the ones who brought the engineering package, we would not need to stay for the tear down and pack up.  The CE Commander told Sergeant Heeb that if he could find some space on one of the cargo planes going out, then get on it.  I cannot describe the feeling I felt when it finally sunk in that I was going to be leaving soon…in fact, I think I left that same night. Grateful, and ecstatic, and even blessed are not vivid enough.  I had spent the last 52 days with the Lost Boys in Never Never Land, preparing for an attack by Captain Hook. Then one day I was sprinkled with pixie dust, and it was time to fly back home.

I Blessed The Rains Down In Africa

I don’t remember my last meal, or packing up all of my gear, or even the farewells to Sergeant Robinson and some of my close friends.  The few good-byes that I do remember were to the Civil Engineers from Hill AFB.  Most of them stayed in the same tent and I wanted to say good-bye on my way to the hanger.  It was late and the lights were out, but I slipped inside their tent anyway.  Some of them were using their flashlights to finish getting ready for bed.  I kissed the heads of the ones who I could not help but kiss good-bye, and shook tenderly the hands of the rest of them.  As I walked away from their tent, I remember feeling strangely thrilled at the thought of being able to look back at all of the experiences that we shared together.

There was a small group of us, less than 10, who made it onto the manifest of the C-5 cargo flight headed out of Cairo West AB.  ‘Hurry up and wait’ is a well known phrase in the military.  We had to report to the hanger around 11 p.m. for a flight that was scheduled to leave at sunrise. I spent my wait cold and tired and in search of a comfortable pallet to sleep on.  The C-5 Galaxy is the military’s largest cargo plane, designed to transport equipment such as shipping containers, vehicles, and even helicopters. Our flight was headed to Ramstein AFB in Frankfurt Germany, the hub of military operations in Europe.  We would spend the night there, and then take another flight to Idaho a day later.

I must have been exhausted by the time we arrived in Germany because my memories don’t begin again until after I woke up from a nap in my hotel room.  I shared a room with a female Services Lieutenant who was very good company.  After my nap I went for a walk outside and the air was cold and damp and the trees were bursting with fall colours.  How I missed colours!  I didn’t even know that I missed them until I saw them again.  I gazed at those trees like I had never seen such a species in nature ever before.

For dinner, a few of us, including Sergeant Heeb, the female Services Lieutenant, and some others that I don’t remember, treated ourselves to a nice meal in Kaiserslautern. The restaurant had a traditional German atmosphere with white stucco walls and dark timber framing. We were seated at a large table and the server brought out these thick, piping hot slabs of stone for each of us, that we used for cooking our strips of beef. There were various sauces to dip the meat in and yummy crispy potatoes. The server poured glass after glass of Lambrusco, a bubbly, semi-sweet red wine with a tangy finish that is sinfully delicious. I bought several bottles from the restaurant that night to take back to Chicago with me for the upcoming holidays.

I must have been hung over in the morning because my memories don’t begin again this time until we made it back to Mountain Home AFB, Idaho.  Stepping inside my little dorm room I dropped my big green duffle bag onto the floor and felt a feeling of comfort and warmth from those stone walls and government issue furniture that was second only to my childhood home.  The view of my bed from the foyer, nicely made with my purple comforter, is burned in my mind.  As much as I missed my room, there was still something that I yearned to do more than anything else.  Drive!!!  I grabbed the keys to my car, and I raced down the stairs and out to the parking lot where my green Mercury Sable had been parked for almost 2 months.  I crossed my fingers as I turned the keys in the ignition and to my amazement the engine started. A few turns out of the parking lot, and soon I was through the gates and off of the base.  There is a long strip of road from the base to the town of Mountain Home and I planned to tear it up.  A motorcycle would have been better, but I made due with my station wagon.  I don’t believe in coincidence, so what else could it be when in such a moment as this, I turned the radio on and ‘I Blessed The Rains Down In Africa’ started to play?  I raised the volume to full blast and sang to the top of my lungs while tears streamed down my face.

Upon Reflection

18 years have passed since Bright Star, and yet somehow the present day circumstances have brought the grit and the beauty, the tastes and the smells, the sorrow and the joy, back to the surface.  Juxtaposing my emotions then with my emotions now, has revealed that much of who I am today was shaped by that crucial time in my life.

It’s difficult to put into words what I learned from such an intense experience.  Within my psyche it was both the tearing down of the Berlin Wall, and the construction of Fort Knox.  No lesser demand could have brought about such a high level of resourcefulness, endurance, adaptability, and relation in me.  I got to see ‘what I was made of’ in a sense, and that has been an incredible gift.

Now I see that we face a new crisis, individually and collectively, for which we are called to adapt, to be resourceful, endure what comes, and find alternative forms of relation.  It has been difficult for me to leave my acupuncture practice at a time when I could be very useful to my patients.  However, because of this mandated inaction, I am also now afforded the time to do the things I’ve been longing to do…like write.  There are always 2 ends to every stick, and I hope that those who are able to endure both ends, receive its gift.

Paul Bunyan

No story from the past is complete without an update on one of the main characters.  A few days after I began writing this post I realized that it was transforming into a short autobiographical piece and I wanted to be sure that my memory was not playing tricks on me.  I needed to verify that what I recalled actually happened.  The person who was with me the most was Technical Sergeant Slade Heeb.  I hadn’t spoken to him since I left Mountain Home, Idaho and so I used Facebook to find him.  On his page was a picture of someone who looked like a teenage version of him.  It was his oldest son.  He hadn’t posted anything since 2010, but I took a chance and sent him a message.  I was surprised and elated to see his response that same night.  He gave me his phone number and the next day I called him.

“Sergeant Heeb?” I asked timidly, still unsure if I had the right person.  “This is Airman Michal Kelly from Mountain Home.”  “Who?”, he asked abruptly.  “Airman Michal Kelly, we were in Egypt together for Bright Star during 9-11”, disappointment started sinking in as I realized that he may not remember me, after all, he was older than me, and it had been 18 years…maybe his memory was failing.  “Are you the DP Rep?”  He asked me.  “Yes, that’s me!” I said with revived hope.  “Yeah, I remember you, and I remember Bright Star.”  It turns out, Slade, as he has insisted I call him, has quite an amazing memory, and filled me in on details that I had either forgotten, or was simply unaware.

“Did you really sew up your own hand when you were a teenager.”  I asked him, recalling a story from his childhood that he told me one day while we were working together in Cairo.  “Close”, he replied.  “I was about 9 years old, and one of the storm windows came crashing down and a piece of glass went right through my hand.  So I took a pig needle and stitched it up and went back to work.”

We went back and forth sifting through our memories, belting out laughs at some of the nonsense that went on during that time.  Slade reminded me how the doctors from the Med Group started digging fox holes around their tent to protect themselves from an attack.  He had to go down there and help them fill the holes back in because they were breaking the Geneva Convention rules for non-combatants.  On another occasion, a Services Master Sergeant with religious fervour, organized a ‘Fornication Patrol Task Force’ whose mission was to spy on and disrupt any budding romantic acts before they blossomed into sin.  “Remember how the CE Lieutenant was frustrated at the fact that you were the only one who was able to get us the things that we needed, like phone lines, and a humvee”, Slade recalled.  I remembered that as well, and I confessed to him how I was able to do it.  “I went down to the Communications unit (for the phone lines), and to the Transportation unit (for the vehicle) and explained that we needed these things. I employed no extraordinary measures, I just simply asked. Although, it is quite possible that I may have used a little female charm.

The conversation turned towards current affairs.  At the time, about a month ago, governments across the world, one by one, sent their nations into sleep mode, and not a single sentence was uttered among people without mentioning the virus.  “So how long do you think it’s going to take before things settle down?”  I asked him, feeling that his natural way of being affords him some deeper insight into the ways of the world.

“Remember when we were in that cab in Germany and I asked the driver to stop at a park where the children are playing.  That was one of the things I really missed…seeing children play.”  His words reminded me of a dream that I recently had.  In the dream I was standing outside in my neighbourhood and there were several kids running around and playing together.  My sight was fixed on a boy in a t-shirt and red shorts, and then I realized that it must be summer.  It was strange to me that I was in the middle of a scene from summer but yet I did not remember having had a spring.  I began to feel the heat against my skin and it was very hot and damp outside.  Still dreaming, I reassured myself that “soon it would be cool and dry again once fall arrives.”  Hearing Paul Bunyan share such a vulnerable observation reassured me that symbols of hope are coded in our essence and they are universal.  Unexpectedly, I started crying while smiling at him through the phone.

We continued to talk for over an hour until Slade finally said, “Well Michal, I have to get going, I’m meeting a buddy of mine and then heading up to North Dakota.”  “What are you going to be doing up in North Dakota?,” I asked.  “Didn’t you hear?  The country is losing their minds over toilet paper, so I’m off to go cut down some trees.”  I laughed, but it didn’t surprise me at all that he would be doing what he has always done…keeping calm, and carrying on.

Now that I am finally finished with my not so short story, I just want to say one last thing… I want to give a shout out to all the CE guys from Hill and Mountain Home AFB and to Tamandra Travillion, Hope Snead, Holly, Ann, Sergeant Robinson…and last but not least, to MSgt Calhoun… if you are no longer alive, may your soul continue to ascend until it reaches heaven!

Hooah!

^[1]  Emergency Management Summary.  http://www.foreverwingman.com/career_fields/3e9x1-emergency-management/